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I just finished graduate school, and my friends took me out to celebrate. I assumed that meant casual dinner, maybe one drink, something normal. Instead, two of them ordered oysters, three shared bottles of wine, and someone kept sending appetizers to the table without asking.

I had pasta, a soda, and half a dessert. When the bill came, one friend immediately said we'd split it evenly because that was 'less awkward.' My share would have been almost double what I actually ordered, and I am currently very unemployed.

I said I was happy to pay for exactly what I consumed plus tip, but I was not subsidizing everyone else's luxury ordering spree. The mood crashed. One friend later texted that I made my own graduation dinner feel transactional and cheap.